The Obligatory Self-Doubt/Freak-Out Post

I've already talked about self-doubt like a gazillion times on this blog.  I know I promised to not write about it again, but I just can't seem to quit it (sorry I'm not sorry for the Brokeback Mountain reference).

Yeah, yeah, I know that my last few posts have been all excited/happy/positive-freak-out-celebration time.

And, don't get me wrong, there is still A LOT of positive-freak-out-celebration-time happening.

BUT.

I'm pretty terrified to start querying again.  My estimated date is Halloween (because it's my favorite holiday, and still an appropriate number of days away for me to calm down...maybe).

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my MS.  Seriously, I've burnt my brain out trying to make this story the best it can be, fixed my plot holes, and (thanks to helpful notes from my CP) made the the whole thing MAKE SENSE.

Also something I learned with this book (and kind of my last one) - Describing settings for me is difficult, because I'd rather just write a book full of dialogue.

I admit it and accept this about myself, and for my next WIP I'm about to get even MORE settings-heavy, so yay for self challenges?  Maybe?

Anyways, back to my MS.

The plot is there.  I know it is.  Besides a few minor changes from when I just started writing (I'm a pantser, so my whole first 50 pages or so was just me spit-balling BUT MY SPITBALLING IS INTUITIVELY AWESOME AND SOMEHOW IT WORKS FOR ME) to make the plot flow a little better, I pretty much stuck to the story I wanted to tell.

So, now, naturally, the anxieties come.

In no particular order:

Is my story too much like Fringe, Lost, and Minority Report?  Am I just repeating story-lines, or did I really create something different?

Will people be able to figure out what's going on too easily?

Or, conversely, will I lose them 50 pages in?

Will people understand/like Sora?  I cleared up her motivations/character early on, but she's just not as easily connectable (is that a word? I don't think it's a word) as Bastian, my other MC/narrator.  

ALL THE QUERY ANXIETIES IN THE WORLD

Will people get to the end and be like...ummm...so...yeah...?

Is this book about anything?

But, here's the trick friends - throughout all the bumps and bruises (and hopefully high-fives) that are going to happen, I think I need to remember one thing, and one thing only.  Ok, I lied, two things.

Firstly: Anxieties are ok.  Everyone freaks out.  Just calm down, Alex and believeeeeeee you can fly.  Or just believe in yourself.  That might be better than the flying thing.

Secondly (again, am I making up words?)

I LOVE MY STORY.

Now I just have to find other people who love it, too.

I've got about a week to mentally prepare myself.  Let's do this (again!)!!!!!!!