Thursday, November 8, 2012

Random Wedding Post (AKA HELPPPPP)

So, taking a break from my querying/contests/submissions/NaNo mania to talk about something totally unrelated to anything that I will ever write about.  Ever.

If you couldn't tell from the title, this post shall be about weddings.

And, before you ask, NO I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED.
I'm not even in a relationship, friends, and I'm also 23, so I think I've got some time to do that whole thing...if I ever find a person that's willing to put up with me for the rest of their lives (good luck to whoever that poor sap turns out to be!).

Anyways, it's Alex's confession time:
I've never been to a wedding before.

Yeah, that's right.  Never ever.

Now, part of this is due to the fact that my Dad's family lives in Maine, and my Mom's family is in the Philippines.  So, even when family members tied the knot, my Mom, brother, and I couldn't really make it from little old Virginia Beach.

The point in all of this is that I have two weddings to go to this summer, for two of my best friends.

I'm the Maid of Honor for the first one.
Remember when I said I've never been to a wedding before?
Yeah, I'll let that sink in.

I'm in the bridal party for the second wedding.  
So, for those keeping score at home, that's:

Weddings: 2
Alex: 0

I have NO IDEA how to be a Maid of Honor OR a Bridesmaid (minus what I learned from Bridesmaids, and I don't know if that's the best reference point), and am freaking out.  My roommate has a couple of books that I've read...but still...I don't know what I'm doing.

Also, I think it's hilarious that the first two weddings I'll ever go to, I'm also in the bridal party.

Thanks life :P

So, does anyone have any advice?  Resources? Words of affirmation?!?

Or wedding stories in general?  

Thanks in advance for any helpful hints!  I'm off to find old episodes of Say Yes to the Dress...


  1. The brides should have let you know what you were in for when they asked you if they knew you were a newbie! is a great resource. There are articles about what to expect when you're in the wedding party and what your duties as MOH are.

    Here's a quick run-down. Pre-wedding: You most likely will be asked to pay for your dress, shoes, jewelry. Maybe hair, makeup and mani/pedi. You most likely will be asked to plan & pay for (at least part of) the bridal shower and the bachelorette party (if there is one). As MOH you need to make sure the bride is stress-free. Ask what you can do to help her and make sure to be a sounding board for ideas or lend an ear when she has to complain. Be prepared to go to umpteen dress shops (honestly, my favorite part).

    Remember: this is about her. In my experience, the mothers on both sides tend to forget this, so if you are in the position to head off any narcissistic behavior on their part, do it.

    Day of: MOH needs to hold the bride's bouquet when it's time to exchange rings. You may also be asked to hold on to the groom's ring. My suggestion: put the ring on your thumb or somewhere you absolutely won't lose it. You may also be asked to give a speech, so be prepared for that (short = good).

    Hope that helps!

    1. OH MY GOSH THIS HELPS SO MUCH!!! I'll check out later tonight :)

      I've already had to strike down some Mom behavior, so glad I got that part right haha (there was a fight over when to send the save-the-dates...silly but true).

      I'll start working on that speech thing, though - good thing I like public speaking!

      And I'll start saving now, too...bridal party for two weddings + poor grad student = poorer graduated (and hopefully newly employed) student this summer haha

      Thank you again!!! You rock :)

    2. Forgot post-wedding! She may need you to get her dress dry-cleaned or ask you to take presents back to her house. She also may have the parents do that instead.

      Bridesmaids have much less to do than MOHs. For the bride, I recommend getting her a Valium or something for the night before the wedding. I couldn't sleep at all (too excited) and nothing is worse than being exhausted at your wedding.

      And most of all, have fun!!! Weddings are the best and it's so great that your friends love you so much that you get to be in two this summer.

    3. Thanks so much!!! I'll consult with my brides (and today and see if they have anything else to add to your list! I'm gonna chart everything out today, so I know what's coming haha

      Yay for weddings!

  2. is definitely a great resource :D My MOH definitely helped me stay calm and collected the day of the wedding. And she was in the US while I now live in Germany, so she couldn´t do as much as what she wanted to but I knew she was there for me if I needed her.

    She asked me what she could do, and I think that´s also something you can do. Check with your friend, if there are certain things she has in mind. My MoH also gifted me a bridal book to help me prepare the wedding :D

    But remember it´s a fun time!

    1. Thanks Elodie!!! I will definitely check in with both friends to see if they need anything and do my best to calm them down before their ceremonies haha

      The bridal book gift is a fabulous idea! I'll check into it next time I head to Barnes and Noble :)