Thursday, June 14, 2012

A note on self-doubt

I know it's something I've touched on in almost every post, but I figure if I just dedicate one solely to this it'll be a good reminder to stop whining about it.  So here goes.

The next few pages of the story that I sent to my friends were the ones I worried about the most, because, to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite shows, this is the part in the story when things become "crazy-town banana pants."

After expressing this thought to the friend who has advanced the most in my story, she reminded me that in fairy tales, anything goes.

Naturally, I sighed with relief when I got this text (and did a small happy dance around my office).  Since the start of this tale, I've wanted to take risks and change things that we may already have preconceived notions of - but I was worried that people might not totally jump on board with what I was trying to do, or worse - that I would rock the boat so much that I would inadvertently push people off of it.

After thinking about it and plotting it out for so long, I know the twists and turns that I want to take - these points are so familiar to me that they make sense no matter how odd they may seem. But before that text I wondered if I was getting too twisty and turny - I still wanted to follow rules and be logical - my goal was never to confuse people, and I feared that I was doing just that.

But that text made me remember something important.  Something that the self-doubt had tried to push away, even though I promised myself that I wouldn't forget it.

I promised to tell the story that I wanted in the manner that I wanted - and I still will.  I will be as out-there and as full-of-surprises as I can be, because my end game is to write something thought-provoking *and* entertaining.

And if I do end up accidentally pushing people off of the boat, I'll be there tossing life-savers overboard and helping them get back on the ship.

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