So, if you're looking for my GUTGAA Meet-and-Greet post, click here! Or scroll down.
If you would like to read about my writing insecurities, you've come to the right post! I found this through a couple of writing friends, and I think it will be a good thing to do every month, just to kind of get it all out there.
My first post is going to be about rejection.
When I finished my first MS, I thought I was ready for everything. I had a few friends read it, made some edits off of their suggestions, got that "you're not crazy" seal of approval, and started researching agents, the query process, and everything that comes with it. I was excited, I was confident, I was...completely naive.
That's right, friends, I crashed and burned. I didn't even make it past the query round. And for a little while, I was kinda bummed about it. No, scratch that. I was devastated.
I didn't think I was good enough - and I think that, at the time I queried, I definitely wasn't good enough. And I don't think I'm even good enough now - but I'm getting there.
When I had my query fail, I started to question everything. Was I really a writer? Was I a decent writer? Were my friends lying to me when they said I had a good story?
Rejection opened the door for self-doubt. And it was a door that would have stayed open, if not for my new WIP.
I think the story I'm working on now has potential that my first novel never did. I am excited about it, but there's always that nagging fear in the back of my mind.
What if I write the best story that I can, but in the end it's still not good enough?
This time I'm approaching things differently. I've gotten a few awesome critique partners, am really thinking things through, and have come up with an idea that is way better than anything I'd thought of before. I am slowly rebuilding the confidence that I lost, but I think I'll always carry that first lesson with me.
So I guess I kind of lied at the beginning of this post. It is about rejection. But it's also about hope, determination, and, most of all, love. I love to write, and I am determined to keep doing it, even if it doesn't inevitably lead to more rejections.
Because, at the end of the day, all I need is one yes.